Happily Ever After Isn't Easy Read online

  As he lined up his shot, Brandt spoke. “I had fun on the playground the other day. Those kids are great.”

  Gabe snapped the cue, and the ball bounced off the side of the hole and actually fell in. “Yes.” He surveyed the table. “That they are.”

  “But you said they aren’t yours. You don’t have any kids?”

  Gabe checked the angle of the shot with his stick. “No. My ex and I weren’t able to have kids.”

  “How long were you married?”

  Gabe kept his head down and took a shot. Another striped ball obeyed and went into the pocket. That was good. Keep him occupied. “Eighteen years.” Long years. “Together since college.”

  Actually, he’d grabbed ahold of the first girl interested in him and held on tight. What had ended his relationship with Tim at the end of high school, had crushed Gabe’s dreams of being with Tim forever, was Tim outing Gabe to someone they knew. And then everyone had known. The shit had hit the fan at home.

  “That’s too bad it didn’t work out. I don’t mean to pry, but what happened?”

  Gabe lined up another shot. “I could say the furnace repair guy, but really our marriage had been over long before he came along.” Another shot and a miss. He handed the cue to Brandt and hopped back onto his stool.

  Brandt grabbed the chalk and rubbed the blue cube over the end of the cue. “So, the furnace repair guy is their father?”

  “Yeah. She had an affair, and lo and behold he gave her what I couldn’t. Even if she had gotten pregnant by me, at that point we were merely roommates. We kept trying until the end, but…. Well, anyway, you’re real dad material. The twins couldn’t stop talking about ‘Bwant’ at dinner.”

  Brandt sank two solids with one shot and laughed. Such a sweet sound. “If you happen to hit the playground again, let me know. I play a mean dragon.”

  Gabe grinned wide, but that faded quickly as he remembered he couldn’t crush on the man.

  Another ball down and Brandt continued his table domination. His muscles bunched beneath his black shirt, the sleeves pulled up over his massive forearms.

  “So, even though your ex cheated, you’re on good terms? I mean, you’re taking the twins and spending time with them, so you must be. And I can tell how much they love you.”

  Gabe didn’t want to get into Karen’s mental illness. Besides, he barely knew Brandt. “Like I said, we really were just going through the motions. Her cheating didn’t hurt. It was the fact that she had children with someone else….” Gabe felt like there was a fist around his throat. He coughed as tears burned his eyes. Shit.

  He jumped off the stool. “I’m gonna hit the head.” He was off before Brandt could say a word. Every time he drank, there was that moment when the good buzz turned bad and his emotions took over. That meant it was time to head home. He returned to the table and grabbed his jacket. He bent to whisper in Julia’s ear. “I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  She grasped his wrist and gazed up at him, her expression taut with worry. “Are you okay? You seem off.”

  “I’m just tired.” Don’t forget horny and confused and guilty for sneaking out.

  She surveyed his face for a moment, looking for some clue, and then smiled weakly. He would definitely be hearing about his quick departure later. “All right, but call me tomorrow.”

  Gabe nodded and kissed her cheek. Giving a general wave to the table, he headed for the front door, the opposite direction of the pool table. Gabe stepped out into the cool night air. Man, he’d been suffocating in there.

  Making his way to the parking lot behind the bar, Gabe passed the covered patio used for outdoor parties. Movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention. In the darkness, Brandt leaned casually against one of the posts. Shit.

  Apparently he’d known about Gabe’s plan to bolt. Ignoring any fear of retribution for staring, Gabe stopped for a moment, waiting for Brandt to approach him. When Brandt didn’t move, Gabe went to his car, pulled out his keys, and hit the button to unlock it. As he reached for the door handle, a hand covered his. Gabe yanked his hand away as if he’d been burned, and turned reflexively, ready to defend himself. Adrenaline flooded his system, ready for the fight-or-flight portion of the evening.

  Brandt loomed dangerously close. The security light at the back of the lot cast shadows across Brandt’s expressionless face. It was really quite unnerving.

  “Brandt. You scared the shit out of me.”

  Brandt actually smirked. “Sorry. I didn’t realize how quiet I was being.”

  It was Gabe’s turn to cock an eyebrow. “Yeah, well, there’s no need to use your stealthy superpowers on me. I’m just a harmless middle-aged man.”

  Brandt frowned. “Middle-aged? Again with the old. You’re like what, thirty-five or thirty-six?”

  Damn, if that had been a line, Gabe would have fallen for it. “Uh, not quite that young.”

  Brandt narrowed those hazel eyes at Gabe. “You said you were heading to the bathroom. You didn’t say you were leaving.”

  Gabe clenched his fist, his keys digging into his palm and bringing some clarity to his head. “I didn’t realize the time. I usually don’t stay out so late. Sorry. I asked Julia to tell you good-bye.”

  Brandt was still, too still, but then shifted on his feet and looked around the parking lot. His pink tongue came out again to swipe his bottom lip, only this time it appeared to be more of a nervous gesture. Brandt stepped closer and leaned against the door of Gabe’s car. Even relaxed, he looked stiff and uptight.

  “I wanted to ask you something.”

  Gabe swallowed hard around the egg-sized lump in his throat. “Ask me what?”

  Brandt shrugged. “I was hoping we could grab a coffee or possibly dinner sometime.”

  The statement took Gabe with unmitigated surprise. “Grab what?”

  Brandt flashed a smile. Balls, that was nice. “Coffee or dinner, you know, that meal at the end of the day. You and me sometime, unless I read you wrong.”

  “Read me wrong?” He can’t be asking….

  Brandt motioned between them. “You and me…. The attraction.”

  Gabe felt his eyes widen and without thought stepped back. “Oh shit. You think I’m gay?”

  “You’re not?” Confusion mired Brandt’s expression, but then he took another step toward Gabe, closing the distance between them.

  Gabe took another step back. Was Brandt asking him out? Was this a trap? Get the gay guy to hit on the straight guy and then call foul. He thought of Travis’s interest in the boy who’d outed him to the entire school and just how dangerous attraction to the wrong person could be.

  “No… I mean, yes. I’m gay. What of it?” Gabe took a final step back and ran into the chain-link fence encompassing the lot. Trapped like a rat, a gay rat, by the huge scary cat.

  Brandt stepped up and stood toe-to-toe with Gabe. Their bodies—their groins—were inches from one another. All available oxygen whooshed away as Gabe’s heart beat relentlessly against his ribs. Brandt raised his oversized hand and, with surprising gentleness, grasped Gabe’s chin. Electric sparks raced along Gabe’s nerves, sending tingling zigzags throughout his body. Gabe pushed his hips into the fence to prevent his burgeoning erection from accidentally brushing against Brandt. Those gentle fingers lifted Gabe’s chin higher and angled it to the side. Brandt’s lips came closer. His dark eyes hooded and then closed when their lips met in an uncertain touch.

  Hell, Brandt was kissing him!

  Brandt’s tongue ventured out and traced the seam of Gabe’s lips. Lowering his lids, Gabe reveled in the warm caress as heated breath feathered across his face. Gabe wrapped his fingers around the links of the fence to stop himself from climbing Brandt and rutting against him.

  The pressure on his lips intensified, and Brandt’s probing tongue sought entrance to Gabe’s mouth. Willingly Gabe opened, and their tongues immediately tangled in an erotic dance. And—oh, God in heaven above—Gabe’s cock throbbed inside o
f his jeans. He fought to keep his hips from bucking forward. As the kiss hit about an eight on the Richter scale, Gabe’s chest heaved as he panted into that luscious mouth. What had started as a shy, tentative kiss had quickly escalated into an increasing battle for domination. Gabe would gladly surrender to Brandt’s forceful will if he gave Gabe what he needed. Without forethought, Gabe released his death grip on the wire of the fence and placed his wrists next to his ears, palms up.

  Breathlessly, he commanded in between kisses, “Grab my wrists.”

  Brandt complied but tried to pull Gabe’s arms down. Gabe resisted. Gasping wildly, Gabe glanced up at Brandt. His gut clenched with the burning heat in those sensuous eyes.

  “Hold them there.”

  Brandt took a moment to catch on, then pressed his palms against the insides of Gabe’s wrists and wrapped his long fingers around the wire of the fence. Gabe tested the movement of his trapped wrists. Not a centimeter of give. Gabe closed his eyes and, with a guttural groan, rejoiced in the feeling.

  Yes, fuck, yes.

  Brandt whispered into his ear, “You like that, do you? Like being restrained… held down?”

  The question rushed more blood to Gabe’s already engorged cock, and his hips bucked forward as a whimper left his throat.

  “Oh yeah, you do.”

  Brandt growled, lining up their bodies, joining thighs, chests, stomachs, groins. Thoughts chased one another around Gabe’s head. Wire from the fence dug into his shoulders, back, and buttocks as he was effectively pinned beneath the massive body, and sweet Jesus, he loved it all.

  Pushing his aching erection into Brandt’s groin, Gabe sought the necessary friction to get himself off. In response, Brandt pressed his muscular body harder, squeezing the air from Gabe’s lungs, making a deep breath impossible. The lack of oxygen caused Gabe’s head to swirl, intensifying the euphoric high. Lips trailed kisses down his neck, and teeth worried his skin. What was Brandt doing to him? Any minute Gabe was going to come in his pants. He wished he could claim his last cum-soaked pants had been in his teens, but making out with Tim during their reunion, he’d released over twenty-five years of pent-up frustration.

  Fuck, Tim…. Get out of my head!

  “Brandt.” Gabe’s whispered word was as much of a reminder of who he was with as his need for release.

  Lips returned to his ear. “I’ve gotcha. Let it go, Gabe.”

  Hearing his name in that husky, lust-soaked voice increased Gabe’s frenzied thrusts. His cock chafed against the inside of his underwear and jeans. Riding that knife’s edge, he was so close but couldn’t fall.

  The hands around his wrists tightened. The body against his pushed with greater force, cutting off all air. Brandt’s hard cock dug into Gabe’s pelvis. Heaven. He had to be in heaven. Wave after wave of ball-twisting pleasure shook his body, filling every cell. Close, he was so close, so close….

  “Come on,” Brandt whispered.

  Gabe let out a barely audible cry, and the euphoric bliss detonated with white-hot heat from his balls, like an exploding star. Lights flashed in the darkness behind his eyelids as his muscles convulsed with his release. Endorphins rushed his system, drugging him. For a moment, Gabe floated, sated, in the amniotic warmth of his orgasm, weightless and content, at peace. One at a time, his senses returned from their fractured state. A shushing noise filled his ears. The cold air chilled his sweat-dampened skin and hair. Shudders jolted through him. His cheek rested against Brandt’s hard shoulder. Brandt’s strong arms wrapped gently around Gabe, effectively holding him up as he worked to catch his breath. Tears—fuck. He was crying.

  Gabe scrambled on wobbly legs, falling back into the chain-link fence that swayed beneath his force. His fingers grasped the wire to hold himself up.

  What the fuck did I do?

  “Are you okay?”

  No, I’m not okay. He was embarrassed and confused.

  Gabe looked about wildly, wondering who had witnessed the mind-numbing bliss that had dismantled him and torn him apart. The parking lot was still empty, but how could he…? What did he…? Home. Have to get home.

  Concern stretched across Brandt’s face. “Gabe, don’t leave. Let’s talk.”

  Gabe didn’t know what to think, what to do. He wouldn’t be a one-night stand. Couldn’t be. He saw himself heading down the same path he had with Tim.

  “I gotta go,” Gabe mumbled. He rushed past Brandt, trying to keep his balance since his equilibrium was for shit.

  He wiped away any evidence of his unacceptable tears with the back of his hand. Yanking his keys from his pocket, he was in the car and had the engine roaring when Brandt knocked on the window. Ignoring him, Gabe slammed the car into reverse and left the person who’d just knocked his world off its axis. With him, Gabe carried enough humiliation for that entire world.

  Chapter 8

  GABE STARTED the shower, then peeled off his clothes. The heat of the spray did little to relax his hunched shoulders and quivering muscles. Brandt had thrown him so far off-center, he no longer felt like himself, as if he didn’t fit inside his own skin. The inability to process and compartmentalize the experience, which had expanded to fill his every thought, was unnerving.

  He’d sworn off relationships, and that was the problem. What he’d done with Brandt had, more than likely, been the beginning of a one-night stand. Brandt stirred so many emotions, kicking up their dust until they swirled about him and threatened to choke the life out of him. Despite that, he hadn’t felt so alive in…. Well, never. His entire being thrummed with a soul-deep resonance that threatened to lift him from the dark pall he’d been cloaked in for so long. Why did it feel like he’d just found something special in a darkened parking lot behind a bar?

  No. The only thing people found behind bars were quick fucks. Gabe was still raw and inflamed from the loss of Tim, and now Brandt had burrowed beneath Gabe’s skin. The magnitude of what he was feeling expanded and crowded his insides. With Brandt, he’d only be heading for another broken heart. He’d latch on to the guy and expect something more where there was nothing. Man, he had to be the stupidest gay man alive. What he’d found since coming out was that many gay guys weren’t relationship material, and if they were, they weren’t relationship material for him.

  The hot water beating on his back morphed into an icy torrent, carrying with it a reality that stung just as great. Muscles that had attempted to relax now bunched and contracted in the cold. Gabe forced himself to shut off the water as his teeth chattered. He grabbed a towel and mechanically worked to rid his body of the wetness. In the mirror, he caught sight of his haunted stare. Exhausted but wired, he was ready to jump out of his skin while feeling too tired to move.

  Lucky enough to live far from his neighbors, Gabe dropped his iPhone into the dock and cranked up the volume, attempting to drown out the obsessive thoughts ravaging his skull. Lying on his bed, he pulled the pillow over his head, trying to focus on anything other than Brandt.

  His phone vibrated. Gabe pulled the pillow off his head, fearing to even look at the phone. Brandt didn’t have his number. Julia knew he’d gone home. Could be Karen, and that thought had him checking his phone. It was Karen.

  “Hey, Karen. Are the kids okay?”

  “Yes. They’re sleeping.”

  The tremble in her voice wasn’t something he could ignore. “What’s wrong?”

  Her sigh was troubled. “When you found out I was cheating on you, did you feel really bad?”

  Gabe sat up and leaned against the headboard. “I don’t understand what you’re asking.”

  She sniffed. “I cheated on you. It felt really terrible, I know that now, and I’m so sorry.”

  “Karen, we were… our relationship was practically over. I was a gay man trying to be straight, trying to do the right thing, but I lied to you. I couldn’t love you like you needed, like you deserved. I don’t blame you.”

  Another sniff and he heard her blow her nose. “I didn’t know how horrible that cou
ld feel. How everything you believe in can be pulled out from under you. It’s the worst feeling in the world.”

  Gabe frowned. “What’re you saying, Karen?”

  “I think Randy’s cheating on me.” Her sobs grew louder.

  “What makes you think that?”

  “He’s never home. He works late and on the weekends.”

  “Did you ask him about it?”

  “No, but he doesn’t want me anymore. We never have sex. He doesn’t even sleep with me most of the time. I know there’s someone else.”

  Gabe pinched the bridge of his nose. “Did you see Randy with someone else or hear him talking to someone on the phone? Maybe see texts?”

  “No, but why else would he be gone so much? I don’t think he loves me anymore.” Her sobs increased.

  “You should talk to him, Karen. Tell him how you feel.”

  “He won’t listen. All he does is come home, play with the kids, and go to bed. I don’t know what to do.” She was past the point of being able to listen.

  “I can tell how upset you are. You feel like your husband’s pulling away from you, and that hurts. When you’re this upset, you aren’t thinking clearly.”

  “I know he’s cheating. What should I do?”

  “Are you in bed?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you lying down?”

  “Yeah.” She hiccupped and released a trembling sigh.

  “Good. Just relax. I know you want to talk about Randy, but right now you need to get some sleep.”

  He couldn’t focus on Karen and Randy. His head was too busy spinning with what he’d done with Brandt.

  “Why do I keep choosing men who don’t love me?”

  Gabe heaved a sigh, and his heart broke for her. Her mental health was precarious, and her marriage was hitting a rocky road. And why did he feel guilty for all that? “Randy loves you. Marriages go through rough patches, sweetie. You’ll both get through this. Talking is the first step. I can help you if you need me to talk with both of you.”